21 August 2012

Lachie Hill – Bottled Feelings

Bottled Feelings

Did you know that tinned food was available 30 years before the invention of the tin-opener? In much the same spirit, my feelings for Avery Whitbread exploded into being long, long before Avery had any idea that I existed.

So there she was, standing by the door to the classroom with her friends, chatting, laughing; it felt as if her unawareness of my emotions for her was slowly eating me away. I stood awkwardly at the other side of the hall, the noise of my classmates almost drowning out my thoughts. I glanced over at my friends as they furiously attempted to finish last night’s homework before the lesson started. I couldn’t understand why this was so hard for me, all I had to do was go up and tell her how I felt, but for some reason it was so different. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but her bubbly personality always seemed to bend and twist things into a bigger mess.

I squeezed my eyes shut, wiped the sweat off my palms and finally worked up the courage to go over and release three years’ worth of brooding emotions. Just as took the first step, my ears were assaulted by a deafening ring from the school bell right next to my head.

‘Damn it,’ I swore – with this opportunity gone it would take another day of sulking for me to convince myself to do this again.

I shuffled into class, pushed from side to side as everyone sluggishly made their start to the school day, all the while my brain imploding. Time seemed to be passing slower and slower, until I was sure that I would be walking out of the room with a shabby, grey beard. I recall a few paper ball fights, but everything else was a blur. Finally, the seemingly endless mathematical gibberish was replaced with a loud bell and the chatter of the school halls.

I switched back on and decided I wasn’t going to postpone this any longer. My eyes darted round like an eagle, searching for Avery until they locked on. I walked up and tapped her on the shoulder, asking her to follow me.

‘Where are we going?’ she giggled, but with a confused look on her face. I just told her I would explain when we get there. I walked toward the far tree on the school field, knowing if I took her there, there would be no way for me to back out. We sat down, for a few seconds there was an awkward silence, filled only by birds and the distant chatter of students. Slowly her gaze softened and I knew I would have to say it soon or my mind would crumple again. Her mouth opened, and she started (to my surprise) flirting! Something about how cute I am. But I quickly interrupted.

‘Avery,’ I started slowly, but finally my mind gave in and the words just fell out. ‘I really hate you.’

By Lachie Hill, Year 9 (Male)